


Breathe. Let it out.

by Atomiclineoleum



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chilton doesn't understand why, Chilton has a heart, Chilton has regrets and nightmares, Chilton is sad, Crying, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I AM SO GAY, M/M, Nightmares, Price helps, Price wants to help, Self-Indulgent, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, communication is good, do not bottle up your feelings, good boyfriends, i love them, the author projects on Chilton too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atomiclineoleum/pseuds/Atomiclineoleum
Summary: Frederick struggles with what he's done in the past, specifically in his nightmares. Price wants to help him but Chilton is not good at talking about things. Someone help them.
Relationships: Dr. Frederick Chilton/Jimmy Price
Kudos: 7





	Breathe. Let it out.

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again... This one is kinda personal so it's probably not great but I hope you enjoy!

The house was quiet, the only sounds breaking the silence was the dull hum of the thermostat and the soft, steady breath of the occupants. The only light was from the outside, polluting the bedroom, casting a bland blue hue throughout. It was picturesque, soothing, and still.

However, that did not stall Frederick Chilton's restless mind. Even in his sleep, his mind tended to be his enemy. Tonight was no different.

He was in the observatory building. He was sitting in an odd wooden chair, his arms resting on the chair’s. It was almost pitch black, but he could make out vague figures before him. Though, before he could take the time to process who was in front of him, he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flicked around to see the hand, a feeling of terror shot down his spine as he found the hand to belong to Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

“You’re waking in an empty room. Not safe,” Hannibal’s voice amongst the silence was deafening. Frederick wanted to get up and run, but his body refused to cooperate.

Hannibal walked agonizingly slow circles around him and Chilton could see a figure emerge from the inky blackness. It was Miriam Lass, a gun in her hand. She looked terrified as she stared at him, never breaking eye contact.

Hannibal’s voice broke Chilton’s thoughts, “Miriam, it would appear you’ve found the infamous Ripper.”

Two hands gripped Frederick’s shoulders, he could only guess they belonged to Lecter. His eyes were glued to Miriam as she shakily pointed the gun at him. Her eyes were widened in fear and she was on verge of tears.

“Pull the trigger, Miriam.”

Hannibal’s voice and the click of the gun was the last thing Chilton heard before everything went to black.

Once he could see again, he was sprawled out on an operation table. He was in his guest room, the area where he had found Abel Gideon’s body. Footsteps approaching him caught his attention, as he looked over he saw none other than Gideon. He was dressed in scrubs and he held a scalpel.

“Good evening Frederick, I do believe we have some surgery to get to… You got to play around in my head, it’s only fair I get to play around in your torso,” The man was wearing a surgical mask, but Frederick could tell he was all too happy about this.

Just as Abel arrived beside him, an oxygen mask was strapped over his face. Chilton frantically looked over, only to once again see Dr. Lecter. The older man smiled down at him as he held the pump in his hands, “Let’s hope I don’t mess this up, shall we?”

As everything went dark, he could hear a chorus of voices, “It’s what you deserve, Frederick,” the phrase repeated on and on until… 

Suddenly, Frederick was awake. He could feel sweat covering his body and the prickling sensation of tears in his eyes. Chilton sat up in bed and hung his legs over the side. He took a moment to regain his breath and remind himself of where he was. 

"Shit…" he mumbled under his breath, it was an attempt to remain quiet. Jimmy Price, his partner, was in bed right next to him.

One of his least favorite parts of these nightmares was that he often awoke Price. Frederick could handle the nightmare itself, he was a psychiatrist it was easy to rationalize the happenings of the mind. Some were vivid and hard to handle, but he could always just set them aside. But Jimmy needed his rest, and Frederick did not want to be the one to take from that.

"You alright?" Shuffling could be heard as Price adjusted to better see Chilton. So much for not waking him up.

"I'm fine, you can go back to sleep, dear." That was a lie. As much as Frederick liked to say that the nightmares didn't affect him, it simply was not true. He was shaking and still covered in sweat. He definitely wouldn't be able to sleep this one off.

"You're sweating… What happened?" So he was awake, then. Chilton couldn't weasel a way out of the conversation now.

"Nothing… Just a little nightmare. I'm fine, really." He turned back to face Price and gave a tired smile, hoping to reassure him of the fact.

"Mm… Frederick, I wish you didn’t try and push these nightmares to the side. I want to help you with this." His voice was soft like he was talking to a spooked animal.

Frederick did appreciate Price's concern, he did. It was just that he preferred to leave all the emotions that these dreams bottled up. While he knew it wasn't healthy nor productive, it saved him the extra trouble. It left out Chilton's poor choices and questionable morality. His unethical practices and mistakes.

He was shaking again. Even more so than before.

"'m fine. I'm fine. I really… I'm fine." That was not convincing at all.

Frederick opened his mouth to try and recover but was cut off by a delicate hand on his back. Price was sitting behind him now, gingerly rubbing small circles into his back. "You're clearly not ok. Can we please talk about it? Even just a little bit? You can't keep it all in. You know this better than I do."

Chilton sighed. Price was right, as he often was when it came to things like this, he wasn’t doing himself any good. His logical thoughts found it quite obvious that it’d be best to let it out, though the majority of him felt a gripping sense of anxiety at the mere thought of opening up to anyone.

It felt as if he were digesting his stomach. A dreadful feeling of losing control. He gripped the side of the bed and took forced breaths in an attempt to regain himself.

This clearly worried Price, as he got up and moved to sit directly next to him. Chilton knew Price wanted to help, but he would guess that Jimmy wasn't extremely experienced in situations like this. It was the first time he had ever seen Chilton in one of his "moments".

The irrationality of it all felt embarrassing, to say the least. Frederick glanced at the clock on his nightstand, it was 3 am. He was here wasting Jimmy's and his own time over a nightmare. Frederick really was a pathetic man.

He could hear Jimmy say something, probably words of encouragement, but it sounded as if he were far away. None of the words were processed at all. As useful as ever, the rational side of him reminded Frederick that this was not good.

Frederick was quickly pulled back into the moment when Jimmy grabbed his hand in an attempt to comfort him. Frederick flinched back, which startled Jimmy, who let go of the other's hand immediately. It made Chilton feel terrible, but he was immediately thrown back into his nightmare at the sudden contact. 

"I'm sorry, Jimmy. I didn't. I didn't mean to scare you. You were just trying to help," Chilton felt like an entire mess. His thoughts were completely scrambled and he still hadn't regained complete control of his own body.

"It's ok, it's ok, you have nothing to apologize for Frederick… Really, don't apologize, I didn't know. It's ok," Jimmy clasped his hands together in his lap.

"I'm such a mess. You shouldn't have to deal with this," Frederick opened his mouth to continue but was cut short by Price.

"Hey, no, once again, nothing to apologize for. I love you. Even when you're a mess. I'm here for you, the real you, not just your public face," Frederick could hear the grin in his voice. Price was always so kind-hearted he couldn't believe it sometimes.

Frederick gave in to the confusing storm of emotions he was feeling. He let himself cry, despite how much he hated the feeling. He laid his head on Price's shoulder, who hesitantly wrapped an arm around him. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, just simply letting everything pass.

Chilton spoke first, "I… I guess you don't mind if we talk about this, do you?"

Jimmy replied immediately, "No, of course not, you can tell me anything in the world. I would sit and listen all the same."

The smile that spread across Frederick's face couldn't be helped. Jimmy made him so happy. He didn't know what turn of luck brought them together, but he'd never take it for granted. "I know. I should've been more open about all of this, to begin with, but… I've just caged off a lot of my emotions to maintain appearances. I've had that mentality for so long, opening up like this it's… Well, it's difficult, to say the least."

"I understand that. And I know it's not easy getting over things like that. You're a stronger man than you give yourself credit for, Frederick." 

"I… Thank you. I have a difficult time allowing myself any compliments, after all the trouble I've put so many people through… All for my own gain… Though, I suppose I've paid my dues," Chilton felt at the side of his face, with the lack of his prosthetics it felt unnatural.

Jimmy sighed, "Frederick, you didn't deserve what happened to you. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we're bad people. That doesn't mean we need to be brutalized. Even if you tell yourself you told yourself that you deserve it, which is still wrong, you've grown. You've realized your mistakes. That means you're already better."

Frederick reached out to Jimmy's hand, taking it in his own, "I'm so lucky to have you by my side, Jimmy."

Price pressed a small kiss to the bullet scar on Frederick's cheek, "I love you to the moon and back, dear."

Frederick remained leaned up against Price for a while longer until they both settled back into bed. Frederick found sleep easily, Jimmy's words keeping his thoughts uplifting.

[-]

The next morning Frederick woke up before Price. He got himself dressed and headed into the kitchen to have his coffee.

Jimmy joined him not too much later. They both greeted each other and went through some idle chit chat. Though Frederick still had their conversation last night fresh on his mind. He hated to bring it up, but he felt the need to thank Price again. He hadn't been able to let anything like that out in so long.

"Price, I hate to bring it up, but I'd like to thank you for consoling me last night. I didn't mean to disrupt your rest." 

"Frederick, you don't have to thank me. I'd gladly do it again, honest. I'm so happy you trust me enough to open up, and I'm just really glad that you let it out. I want nothing more than for you to be happy," Price grinned at Frederick as he sipped his drink.

"You're too sweet, Price. I don't know what I'd do without you… Just know that I hope you feel the same towards me, I'm always in your corner. I'll help you in any way I can," Frederick stood up and walked over to Price.

Price followed him with his eyes, and his smile grew wider when Frederick seated himself on the table next to him, "Of course, I trust you with anything. I know you'll be there to help me," he set his drink down, "and as an act of this open communication, I have to communicate that I remember a certain someone telling me not to sit on the tables…" Price gave a sly grin.

Frederick rolled his eyes and dramatically put his hand across his chest, "Well, do forgive me, I couldn't help myself. I had to get a seat closer to you. Would you prefer I sit in your lap?" Chilton smirked.

Price didn't falter as he moved his seat back to make more room between the table, "The seat's all yours, dear." 

Frederick couldn't help but laugh as he plopped himself down onto Jimmy's lap. He was immediately met by a dramatic groan from Jimmy, "You never told me you had the boney-est ass in the world! You're hurting my legs!" The closer he got to the end of the sentence the more he sputtered to stifle his laughter.

"You know damn well my ass isn't 'boney', Price. You're lucky I don't just leave," Chilton made a dramatic gesture towards the door, "I could go to work right now."

Jimmy gasped loudly, "And leave me? You would never!" He couldn't hold back his laughter, which resulted in the sentence being broken up.

"You can watch me and my boney ass leave right now. Unless you apologize, of course," Frederick gave Price a smug grin.

"Of course, your highness, I give you my deepest apologies," Jimmy rolled his eyes.

"Hmmm. I don't know if your apology is genuine… Better give me a kiss for good measure."

Jimmy raised his hand to his forehead melodramatically, "If I must, to prove my love!" He took Chilton's lips in a soft kiss, which ended all too quickly for Chilton's liking.

"Better now? Am I forgiven, oh mighty one?"

"I don't know… Might need a few more kisses to think on it, dear," Frederick couldn't contain his smile, it stretched from ear to ear.

"You're lucky I love you, if we keep this up for too long I'm going to be late!" Despite the objection, he gave Frederick two more quick kisses.

"Who cares, I'll call Jack if I need to. He can wait for his best scientist. I'm more important, anyway." 

Jimmy chuckled, "You're right." And with that he pulled Frederick into yet another kiss, however, this one was a bit longer lived.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, MWAH!


End file.
